Heruraha in LIL

The Face of Heruraha in LIL

We can perceive the text below from several vantage points.

The text may appear as a religious composition worthy of veneration.

It may be appreciated as a great mystery, revealed through symbolism and insights above reason.

Or, it might be perceived as living and breathing Truth, validated by direct empirical knowledge.

I prefer the latter, although the awe and appreciation still lingers somewhat...

How do you see the text in question?

Let me know in the comments below.

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The Cry of the 1st Aethyr,

Which is Called LIL1

First, let praise and worship and honour and glory and great thank be given unto the Holy One, who hath permitted us to come thus far, who hath revealed unto us the ineffable mysteries, that they might be disclosed before men. And we humbly beseech His infinite goodness that he will be pleased to manifest unto us even the Mystery of the First Aethyr.

(Here followeth the Call of the Aethyr.)2

The veil of the Aethyr is like the veil of night, dark azure, full of countless stars. And because the veil is infinite, at first one seeth not the winged globe of the sun that burneth in the centre thereof. Profound peace filleth me, --- beyond ecstasy, beyond thought, beyond being itself, IAIDA. (This word means "I am", but in a sense entirely beyond being.)

(Note. --- In Hebrew letters it adds to 26. In Hebrew letters the name of the Aethyr is 70, ayin; but by turning the Yetziratic attributions of the letters into Hebrew, it gives 663, is the sum of the numbers from 0 to 11.)

Yes; there is peace. There is no tendency of any sort, much less any observation or feeling or impression. There is only a faint consciousness, like the scent of jasmine.

The body of the Seer is rested in a waking sleep that is deeper than sleep, and his mind is still; he seems like a well in the desert, shaded by windless palms.

And it is night; and because the night is the whole night of space, and not the partial night of earth, there is no thought of dawn. For the light of the Sun maketh illusion, blinding man's eyes to the glory of the stars. And unless he be in the shadow of the earth, he cannot see the stars. So, also, unless he be hidden from the light of life, he cannot behold Nuit. Here, then, do I abide in unalterable midnight, utterly at peace.

I have forgotten where I am, and who I am. I am hanging in nothing.

Now the veil opens of itself. (To Scribe. Come nearer; I don't want to have to speak so loudly.)

It is a little child covered with lilies and roses. He is supported by countless myriads of Archangels. The Archangels are all the same colourless brilliance, and every one of them is blind. Below the Archangels again are many, many other legions, and so on far below, so far that the eye cannot pierce. And on his forehead, and on his heart, and in his hand, is the secret sigil of the Beast.4 And of all this the glory is so great that all the spiritual senses fail, and their reflections in the body fail.

It is very strange. In my heart is rapture, holy and ineffable, absolutely beyond emotion; beyond even that bliss called Ananda, infinitely calm and pure. Yet at the gates of mine eyes stand tears, like warriors upon the watch, that lean on their spears, listening5.

The great and terrible Angel keeps on looking at me, as if to bar me from the vision. There is another forcing my head down in sleep.

(It's very difficult to talk at all, because an impression takes such an immense time to travel from the will to the muscles. Naturally, I've no idea of time.)

I have gone up again to the child, led by two Angels, abasing my head.

This child seems to be the child that one attempted to describe in "The Garden of Janus".6

Every volition is inhibited. I have tried to say a lot, but it has always got lost on the way.

Holy art thou, O more beautiful than all the stars of the Night!

There has never been such peace, such silence. But these are positive things. Singing praises of things eternal amid the flames of first glory, and every note of every song is a fresh flower in the garland of peace.

This child danceth not, but it is because he is the soul of the two dances, --- the right hand and the left hand, and in him they are one dance, the dance without motion.

There is dew on all the fire. Every drop is the quintessence of the ecstasy of stars.

Yet a third time am I led to him, prostrating myself seven times at every step. There is a perfume in the air, reflected down even to the body of the seer. That perfume thrills his body with an ecstasy that is like love, like sleep.

And this is the song:

I am the child of all who am the father of all, for from me come forth all things, that I might be. I am the fountain in the snows, and I am the eternal sea. I am the lover, and I am the beloved, and I am the first- fruits of their love. I am the first faint shuddering of the Light, and I am the loom wherein night weaveth her impenetrable veil.

I am the captain of the hosts of eternity; of the swordsmen and the spearmen and the bowmen and the charioteers. I have led the armies of the east against the armies of the west, and the armies of the west against the armies of the east. For I am Peace.

My groves of olive were planted by an harlot, and my horses were bred by a thief. I have trained my vines upon the spears of the Most High, and with my laughter have I slain a thousand men.

With the wine in my cup have I mixed the lightnings, and I have carved my bread with a sharp sword.

With my folly have I undone the wisdom of the Magus, even as with my judgments I have overwhelmed the universe. I have eaten the pomegranate in the House of Wrath, and I have crushed out the blood of my mother between mill-stones to make bread.

There is nothing that I have not trampled beneath my feet. There is nothing that I have not set a garland on my brow. I have wound all things about my waist as a girdle. I have hidden all things in the cave of my heart. I have slain all things because I am Innocence. I have lain with all things because I am Untouched Virginity. I have given birth to all things because I am Death.

Stainless are my lips, for they are redder than the purple of the vine, and of the blood wherewith I am intoxicated. Stainless is my forehead, for it is whiter than the wind and the dew that cooleth it.

I am light, and I am night, and I am that which is beyond them.

I am speech, and I am silence, and I am that which is beyond them.

I am life, and I am death, and I am that which is beyond them.

I am war, and I am peace, and I am that which is beyond them.

I am weakness, and I am strength, and I am that which is beyond them.

Yet by none of these can man reach up to me. Yet by each of them must man reach up to me.

Thou shalt laugh at the folly of the fool. Thou shalt learn the wisdom of the Wise. And thou shalt be initiate in holy things. And thou shalt be learned in the things of love. And thou shalt be mighty in the things of war. And thou shalt be adept in things occult. And thou shalt interpret the oracles. And thou shalt drive all these before thee in thy car, and though by none of these canst thou reach up to me, yet by each of these must thou attain to me. And thou must have the strength of the lion, and the secrecy of the hermit. And thou must turn the wheel of life. And thou must hold the balances of Truth. Thou must pass through the great Waters, a Redeemer. Thou must have the tail of the scorpion, and the poisoned arrows of the Archer, and the dreadful horns of the Goat. And so shalt thou break down the fortress that guardeth the Palace of the King my son. And thou must work by the light of the Star and of the Moon and of the Sun, and by the dreadful light of judgment that is the birth of the Holy Spirit within thee. When these shall have destroyed the universe, then mayest thou enter the palace of the Queen my daughter7.

Blessed, blessed, blessed; yea, blessed; thrice and four times blessed is he that hath attained to look upon thy face. For I will hurl thee forth from my presence as a whirling thunderbolt to guard the ways, and whom thou smitest shall be smitten indeed. And whom thou lovest shall be loved indeed. And whether by smiting or by love thou workest, each one shall see my face, a glimmer through a thousand veils. And they shall rise up from love's sleep or death's, and gird themselves with a girdle of snake-skin for wisdom, and they shall wear the white tunic of purity, and the apron of flaming orange for will, and over their shoulders shall they cast the panther's skin of courage. And they shall wear the nemyss of secrecy and the ateph crown of truth. And on their feet shall they put sandals made of the skin of breasts, that they may trample upon all they were, yet also that its toughness shall support them, and protect their feet, as they pass upon the mystical way that lieth through the pylons. And upon their breasts shall be the Rose and Cross of light and life, and in their hands the hermit's staff and lamp. Thus shall they set out upon the never-ending journey, each step of which is an unutterable reward8.

Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy; yea, thrice and four times holy art thou, because thou hast attained to look upon my face; not by my favour only, not by thy magick only, may this be won. Yet it is written: "Unto the persevering mortal the blessed Immortals are swift."

Mighty, mighty, mighty, mighty; yea, thrice and four times mighty art thou. He that riseth up against thee shall be thrown down, though thou raise not so much as thy little finger against him. And he that speaketh evil against thee shall be put to shame, though thy lips utter not the littlest syllable against him. And he that thinketh evil concerning thee shall be confounded in his thought, although in thy mind arise not the least thought of him9. And they shall be brought unto subjection unto thee, and serve thee, though thou willest it not. And it shall be unto them a grace and a sacrament, and ye shall all sit down together at the supernal banquet, and ye shall feast upon the honey of the gods, and be drunk upon the dew of immortality --- FOR I AM HORUS, THE CROWNED AND CONQUERING CHILD, WHOM THOU KNEWEST NOT!

Pass thou on, therefore, O thou Prophet of the Gods, unto the Cubical Altar of the Universe; there shalt thou receive every tribe and kingdom and nation into the mighty Order that reacheth from the frontier fortresses that guard the Uttermost Abyss unto My Throne.

This is the formula of the Aeon, and with that the voice of LIL, that is the Lamp of the Invisible Light, is ended. Amen.

Biskra, Algeria.

December 19, 1909. 1:30 - 3:30 p.m.

1

LIL = {Cancer}{Aquarius}{Cancer} = 76 = {HEB:Nun- final}{HEB:Vau} {HEB:Yod}{HEB:Bet}{HEB:Chet} = Secret, a refuge; {HEB:Chet}{HEB:Chet} {HEB:Yod}{HEB:Nun} rest, peace; and {HEB:Dalet}{HEB:Bet}{HEB:Ayin}, a Servant (in the noble sense). In Hebrew LIL would be 70, the eye of Horus, {HEB:Ayin}. But see a previous note on the twelvefold table, 15th Aethyr, where these letters rule the Universe. (scil. that of the present Aeon.)

2

The Seer was only too well aware that, considering the dire straits to which he was put to obtain the Second Aire, he was surely incapable of penetrating the First. In fact, only a full Magus could pierce the Second properly, and for the First, none but an Ipsissimus would be competent. This apprehension was in fact justified. Only now and then was he able to live at the level of LIL; much of the Vision and the Voice here printed is but a pale reflection in Rauch (and even that at the cost of infinite effort) of the Word of the Angel of the Aethyr. These "Ersatz-words" are indicated in the present edition by square brackets.

3

i.e. by taking L as Luna. In the note in the title, we have taken it as {Cancer}, experience having shewn that this mode is more accurate. L is {Moon} in her decrease, and {Cancer} her house. But the Enochian alphabet is referred to the Zodiac and the Elements; only indirectly to the planets; and it is imprudent to make any exception.

4

Sun and moon conjoined

5

There are long intervals between many of these paragraphs, the Seer having been lost to Being. The reader will note that "The Great and Terrible Angel" has not been mentioned, but comes in suddenly. This was because the Seer's speech was inaudible, or never occurred. This angel was the "Higher Genius" of the Seer.

6

See the Winged Beetle and Eqx. I, No. 3, where this poem is given at length.

7

This passage is quite spurious, a vague and false reflection of the true voice, which was a lyrical sequence of the Atus of Thoth{WEH Note: In this Word lurks a Pun that is Key to all the Work.}

8

This passage is not wholly wrong; it is the poor expression, which is to be deplored.

9

This prophecy has proved true in many cases, often in the most strange and unexpected ways.

Spirituality: Romantic Entry

There is this romantically naive notion that spirituality or the Great work has nothing to do with our personal lives (job, intimacy, money, education, physical health, emotional needs, etc.).

While being naive or immature is perfectly fine, a serious aspirant should be careful not to ignore personal aspects of existence.

We have a term for that kind of ignorance:

Spiritual bypassing.

New-age people and occult fans usually fall into these (ego) traps and trips:

https://www.highexistence.com/10-spiritual-bypassing-things-people-total-bullshit/

More info on the subject:

Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters
by Robert Augustus Masters

The Great Work Of Uniting Nuit And Hadit

This lovely article was written by our siblings at ThelemicUnion.

Check out their website:

https://thelemicunion.com/

This article and graphic is reposted from:

https://thelemicunion.com/great-work-uniting-nuit-hadit/

 Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. 

Nuit and Hadit are two deities in the religion of Thelema, an esoteric philosophy popularized by British occultist Aleister Crowley in the early 20th century. Nuit is a goddess representing the universe, while Hadit is a god representing the center of the universe and all points of space and time. Nuit is described as the “Empress of Space,” evoking limitless openness and possibility. In contrast, Hadit is described as a “lord of limitation,” evoking constriction and containment within a particular point in space and time. Together, Nuit and Hadit symbolize two aspects of the spiritual experience, namely, the divine expansiveness and the individual’s journey of growth and self-awareness within a particular context. Through harmonizing both aspects, the Thelemic philosophy seeks to unify space and time, mind and body, and the earthly and spiritual realms.

The interplay between Nuit and Hadit is said to create the universe. Nuit is the primal power of the universe, the forms of undifferentiated unity and infinite potential while Hadit is the individual force that establishes perspective and brings into existence individual and finite phenomena. By uniting these two principles, Nuit and Hadit create an active interplay that results in a balanced and harmonious universe. This interplay of Nuit and Hadit is often represented as a yin-yang icon. This interplay includes all of the opposing yet complementary forces that exist in the universe, such as beauty and ugliness, good and evil, life and death. This interplay allows for the development of dynamic and creative existence, providing a base from which all manifestation can occur.

The precise details of what constitutes the “Great Work” will depend on each individual’s own spiritual journey and understanding. While there is no one definitive answer, it could be said that Nuit and Hadit, when reunited in consciousness, can bring forth divine wisdom and understanding, enabling the individual to realize the interconnectedness of all things and to live in harmony with the universe. This reunion is not merely a physical process, but a spiritual one. It calls for the understanding of the individual and the understanding of the Universe to unify and become one Understanding .

This can only be achieved after a long process of the individual committing themselves to the process of self-development and inner exploration. This is done through contemplation, meditation, magick, and various other spiritual practices that help to bring forth the truth within. As one moves through the process and develops a true understanding of the universe and their place within it, they can begin to realize the great potential of their own creative 

We call on Thelemites to unite their divine expansive nature, symbolized by Nuit, and their divine contractive nature, symbolized by Hadit, within themselves and to dedicate their will and life in pursuit of the Great Work. The stellar union of these two powers will bring Light and the full realization of one’s greater nature and purpose. In those moments of divine illumination, one should also give heed to the highest promise of the Great Work — to go out into the world and enjoy life to the utmost. Let us, then, leap out into life and manifest the joy of Thelema in every moment.

Love is the law, love under will.

Enter Esoteric Astrology

Exoteric and even Esoteric astrology, as well as other analytical methods (Jyotish, human design, tarot, etc.), provide an interpretation of reality rather than a direct and fresh contact with it. 

However, many students and even adepts are yet unable to sustain (and maintain) a direct perception of reality. They still require symbolism and other mental representations to conceive reality instead of experiencing it directly.

For those who cannot yet live without the analytical capacities of awareness, this introduction to Esoteric astrology might be of interest:

A.'.A.'. and O.T.O. complementing one another

For the last few years, I have been actively immersed in the practices of the O.T.O. system. I perceive the whole system as rather elaborate, offering an inspired beginner a solid structure to advance life. In my case, I see the path entwined with the O.T.O. degrees as an excellent opportunity to complete a specific task from my current A.'.A.'. attainment.

Using my head and meekly bowing to no one, however, I see certain aspects of the said system as downright ridiculous and very much old-aeon-like (the general feeling of theocracy, taking the vows of obedience to the head of the Order or something or someone on the outside, waiting to be invited to higher degrees for long years and similar nonsense). Maybe (or obviously) these things work for some, but not for me.

And, all the drama around the "great and wonderful O.T.O. Order" higher initiates' ego trips is quite useless to me. Also, I need no community to fill the inner need for belonging and acceptance...

...so I aligned my time and efforts with a sister Krumm-Heller lineage, which welcomes individual creativity, supports freedom of choice, and does not inhibit the progress of an actively involved student in any way.

Reflecting on the whole O.T.O. system, I think the first three degrees' practices must be a real challenge to a newcomer to the Thelema. Nevertheless, the meditations and other exercises are intriguing and can indeed contribute so much, I have to say.

Again, in my case, being quite familiar with the Thelema practices, I breezed through the degrees (ignoring the old aeon notions from Freemasonry as they have got nothing whatsoever to do with the Thelema spiritual current, in my opinion), with one major crisis that lasted around nine months. 

Lesson learned: the O.T.O. meditations and other practices of the system are efficient enough. There is no need to combine them with anything else (the Mahamudra empowerments in my case).

The jackpot or the process that contributed to my current initiation level the most thus far, however, was the P.I. annihilation.

Part of the diary entry after the ritual:

“The immediate result is that I have no inclination whatsoever towards our Prophet anymore, either way, for example. I see now that everything I did up to this point (in the O.T.O. and A.'.A.'.) was only a mental projection, and what he did was just as unreal as anything else”.

Freedom, independence, less drama, more Understanding, Wisdom, Strenght, etc. - that is what the O.T.O. meditations and other practices have delivered. And the best is yet to come!

I find the A.'.A.'. system very useful, but demanding considering the tasks after the abyss. That's where the practical and down-to-earth approach of O.T.O. comes in handy and can contribute a lot.

The O.T.O. is an effective and brilliant system.

I see both Orders, the A.'.A.'. and the O.T.O., as two sides of the same coin, complementing each other both in practices and manifestations, sharing but one ground reality:

"There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt."
Liber AL, III-60

Fr. 418 .'.

More info and links on the O.T.O. >>

Pure Selfishness, with foresight

Magick without tears, ch. Selfishness

Selfishness? I am glad to find you worrying that bone, for it has plenty of meat on it; fine juicy meat, none of your Chilled Argentine or Canterbury lamb. It is a pelvis, what's more; for in a way the whole structure of the ethics of Thelema is founded upon it.
There is some danger here; for the question is a booby trap for the noble, the generous, the high-minded.

'Selflessness', the great characteristic of the Master of the Temple, the very quintessence of his attainment, is not its contradictory, or even its contrary; it is perfectly compatible (nay, shall we say friendly?) with it.

The Book of the Law has plenty to say on this subject, and it does not mince its words. AL,11: 18, 19, 20, 21:

These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not fo r the poor and the sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk.
Is a God to live in a dog? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen; who sorroweth is not of us.
Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious /anguour, fo rce and fire, are of us.
We  have  nothing  with  the  outcast  and  the  unfit:  let them  die  in  their  misery.  For  they  feel  not. Compassion  is  the  vice  of  Kings:  stamp  down  the wretched  and  the  weak;  this  is  the  law  of  the  strong: this  is  our  law  and  the  joy  of the  world.

That  sets  up  a  standard,  with  a  vengeance! (Note  "they  feel  not,"  twice  repeated.  There  should  be something  important  to  the  thesis herein  concealed.)

The  passage  becomes  exalted,  but  a  verse  later  resumes  the theme,  setting  forth  the  philosophical  basis  of  these apparently  violent  and  arrogant  remarks. "It  is  a  lie,  this  folly  against  self."  (A L.  II:  22)

This  is  the  central  doctrine  of  Thelema  in  this  matter. What  are  we  to  understand  by  it?  That  this  imbecile  and nauseating  cult  of  weakness-democracy  some  call  it-is utterly  false  and  vile.

Let  us  look  into  the  matter.  (First  consult  AL.  II:  24,  25, 48,  49,  58,  59,  and  III:  18,  58,  59.  It  might  be  confusing  to quote  these  texts  in  full;  but  they  throw  much  further  light on  the  subject.)
The  word  "compassion"  in  its  accepted sense-which  is  bad  etymology-implies  that  you  are  a  fine fellow,  and  the  other  so  much  dirt;  that  is,  you  insult  him  by pity  for  his  misfortunes.  But  "Every  man  and  every  woman  is a  star";  so  don't  you  do  it!  You  should  treat  everybody  as  a King  of  the  same  order  as  yourself.

Of  course,  nine  people out  of  ten  won't  stand  for  it,  not  for  a  minute;  the  mere  fact of  your  treating  them  decently  frightens  them;  their  sense  of inferiority  is  exacerbated  and  intensified;  they  insist  on grovelling.  That  places  them.  They  force  you  to  treat  them  as the  mongrel  curs  they  are;  and  so  everybody  is  happy!

The  Book  of  the  Law  is  at  pains  to  indicate  the  proper attitude  of  one  "King"  to  another.  When  you  fight  him,  "As brothers,  fight  ye!"  Here  we  have  the  old  chivalrous  type  of warfare,  which  the  introduction  of  reason  into  the  business has  made  at  the  moment  impossible.  Reason  and  Emotion; these  are  the  two  great  enemies  of  the  Ethic  of  Thelema. They  are  the  traditional  obstacles  to  success  in  Yoga  as  well a s  in  Magick.

Now  in  practice,  in  everyday  life,  this  unselfishness  is always  cropping  up.  Not  only  do  you  insult  your  brother King  by  your  "noble  self-sacrifice,"  but  you  are  almost bound  to  interfere  with  his  True  Will.  "Charity"  always means  that  the  lofty  soul  who  bestows  it  is  really,  deep down,  trying  to  enslave  the  recipient  of  his  beastly  bounty!

In  practice,  I  begin  afresh,  it  is  almost  entirely  a  matter  of the  point  of  view.  "That  poor  chap  looks  as  if a  square  meal wouldn't  hurt  him";  and  you  chuck  him  a  half-crown.  You offend  his  pride,  you  pauperize  him,  you  make  a  perfect  cad of  yourself,  and  you  go  off  with  a  glow  of having  done  your good  deed  for  the  day.  It's  all  wrong.  In  such  a  case,  you should  make  it  the  request  for  a  favour.  Say  you're  "dying for  someone  to  talk  to,  and  would  he  care  to  join  you  in  a spot  of  lunch"  at  the  Ritz,  or  wherever  you  feel  that  he  will be  the happiest.

When  you  can  do  this  sort  of  thing  as  it  should  be  done, without  embarrassment,  false  shame,  with  your  whole  heart in  your  words-do  it  simply,  to  sum  up-you  will  find yourself  way  up  on  the  road  to  that  royal  republic  which  is the  ideal  of  human  society.

...

P.P.P.S.  An  amusing  coincidence.  Just  as  I  was  polishing  up this  letter  the  lady  whom  I  had just  engaged  to  help  me  with some  of  my  work  irritated  me  to  the  point  when  my  screams became  so  heartrending  that  the  village  will  never  sleep  again as  smoothly  as  its  wont.  They  split  the  welkin  in  several places;  and  although  invisible  menders  were  immediately  put on  the  job  it  is  generally  felt  that  it  will  never  more  be  its own  original  wholeness. And  why?  Just  because  of her  anxiety  to  please!  She  asked me  if  she  might  do  somefhing;  I  said  "Yes";  she  then  went  on begging  for  my  consent,  explaining  why  she  had  made  the request,  apologizing  for  her  existence! She  could  not  understand  that  all  she  had  to  do  was  to  try and  please  herself-the  highest  part  of  herself-to  be  assured of  my  full  satisfaction.

P.P.P.P.S.  "But the A:. A:. oath;  aren't  you - we - all out to improve the race, not counting the cost to ourselves?" Pure selfishness, child, with foresight! I want a decent place to live in next time I come back. And a longer choice of first rate vehicles for my Work.

- Magick without tears, ch. Selfishness

One Teacher, One Order, One Truth

Spoiler alert:

Thelema hardcore true believers (and the former ones as well) might find the line of thought below slightly unsettling.

Intro

Thelema came knocking on my door in early 1996. Reflecting upon those first years and seeing how my focus was almost wholly directed toward the outer realities (meaning, I was childish, alone, wanting to belong and to be someone, and to do something special, etc.), I am glad that I did not align myself with some outer structure (read: social or some other Order). 

If I had, I would have slowed down my growing-up process.

Growing up or becoming a person, as Carl Rogers put it, is quite essential, in my opinion. In modern terms, this would be defined as individualisation and self-actualisation, or breaking free from social, institutional, educational, and familial influences by becoming a grown-up person, independent and free from bowing down to authority. 

Maslow, Assagioli, Wilber, Rowan and Rosenberg articulated Authenticity rather well.

In Thelema lore, this process and the resulting grown-up personal traits are mirrored in various texts, such as Liber OZ.

Observing dynamic situations within the Thelema Orders around the world today, I am particularly intrigued by the notions of the One Holy and True Order, the One Teacher, and the insistence on hierarchy, or shall we say theocracy, which often covers up or denies that emotional and mental abuses are taking place, etc.

No, I am not angry, frustrated, hurt or appalled by what I am observing (nor is my intention to gaslight or provoke); it just doesn't compute to my mind:

Is Thelema, one of the most direct and quite loud doctrines out there regarding personal responsibilities and liberties, being squandered by private ego trips, astral (emotional) glamour, and neurotic tendencies by the very same people that are publicly proclaiming: "Do what thou wilt"?

If we take this line of thought a bit further, there are what I perceive as old-aeon notions and games called: 
"Please, save me, for I am incapable of progressing on my own",
and
"F**k you, f**k you (Order leaders), I blame you for what has happened to me! F**k you!!!"

I am always surprised by what I see here online, in real life, and in person as well: 

"Advanced" aspirants who have engaged in mystical and magical practices for years or even decades often do so a priori, without examining the (neurotic?) inner tendencies that influence their beliefs and actions. They tend to idolise certain authors, lineages, leaders, or heads of Orders. 

When reality sets in—meaning when it becomes clear that following others is futile—chaos ensues. This leads to a wave of attacking, blaming, and criticising those same leaders or organisations they once naively revered.

Hmmm.

Please, Order Leader, save me.
Or at least grant me access to a higher degree.

In such cases, it seems that donating precious life energy to others is what is happening, nothing else.

Rather than exploring their inner selves to discover what truly resonates with them—regardless of whether it aligns with the guidelines of any authority—most people tend to look outside. They often follow external sources without taking the time to reflect on their own thoughts and actions.

And although the greatest spiritual masters in human history (not only our Master Therion but also the Buddha, Krishna, Muhammad, Krishnamurti, etc.) have all advised against it, many human beings still meekly bow down to some authority.
(see article on Personal Responsibility, here >> (a new page opens up)

I believe that kind of behaviour is often just a part of the growing-up process. Children may engage in those actions, but as we mature, we tend to develop more sophisticated ways of expressing ourselves and coping with our emotions and thoughts (which does not include bowing to or blaming others).

These are all just little games that egos admire so much, in my opinion.
In reality (at least where I live), no outer authority can initiate you, give you, or grant you, well, anything, really.  

Cognitive neurobiology, the hardcore science, unequivocally affirms that our experience is happening between our ears, not on the outside. So, why waste time by focusing on the outside?

Furthermore, Crowley himself said:

"...the [A∴A∴] system, which was given to me to put forward, is only one of many. “Above the Abyss”, all these technical wrinkles are ironed out."

- Magick Without Tears, ch. 9.

According to him, the A.'.A.'. is only one system, one of many. So, what's with the One Teacher, One Order, One Truth notion?

I'm not sure, but it seems to me like total nonsense.

Who am I, and what shall be the sign?

I prioritise my personal growth over recognition and do not seek validation from anyone, including those in positions of authority. My focus is on self-improvement and staying true to my values.

There is nothing substantial that can come from any outside authority. Yes, we can cooperate, hang out, and have fun, but not at the expense of our liberties and responsibilities.

Again, Master Therion himself said it would be best not to follow in his footsteps:

 "...I certainly have no intention of holding you down to a narrow path of work or any path. […] It does not follow that a plan that I have found successful in my own case will be any use to you. […] Most teachers, consciously or unconsciously, try to get others to follow in their steps. I might as well dress you up in my castoff clothing!"

- Magick Without Tears, ch. 17

Far beyond childish little games and immature ego trips of high-degree magicians (from some religious corporation or not), might stand this line of thought:

'The Sempiternal A.'. A.'. Order is beyond political and personal human projections, hopes, and dreams. Only inner and transpersonal realisations can link one with this Inner Order. No outside authority can do that. 

It is a matter of complete freedom of self-regulated spiritual development. There is no coercion in spirituality.

There is no One True Lineage or One True World Teacher, for such exclusiveness exists only in the vivid child-like"human imagination.”

What do you feel/think?

- Fr. 418.'.