July 7, 2019

The pathless land

“Truth is a pathless land.”

Truth is a pathless land. Man cannot come to it through any organization, through any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, not through any philosophical knowledge or psychological technique.
He has to find it through the mirror of relationship, through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection.

- J. Krishnamurti, 1980.

February 12, 2019

From beyond the Abyss (VII:): Mahamudra

May all adepts attain the City of Pyramids

Maitripa’s Essential Mahamudra Verses

To innermost bliss, I pay homage!

Were I to explain Mahamudra, I would say—
All phenomena? Your own mind!
If you look outside for meaning, you’ll get confused.
Phenomena are like a dream, empty of true nature,

And mind is merely the flux of awareness,
No self-nature: just energy flow.
No true nature: just like the sky.
All phenomena are alike, sky-like.

That’s Mahamudra, as we call it.
It doesn’t have an identity to show;
For that reason, the nature of mind
Is itself the very state of Mahamudra
(Which is not made up, and does not change).
If you realize this basic reality
You recognize all that comes up, all that goes on,
as Mahamudra,
The all-pervading dharma-body.

Rest in the true nature, free of fabrication.
Meditate without searching for dharma-body—
It is devoid of thought.
If your mind searches, your meditation will be confused.

Because it’s like space, or like a magical show,
There is neither meditation or non-meditation,
How could you be separate or inseparable?
That’s how a yogi sees it!

Then, aware of all good and bad stuff as the basic reality,
You become liberated.
Neurotic emotions are great awareness,
They’re to a yogi as trees are to a fire—FUEL!

What are notions of going or staying?
Or, for that matter, “meditating” in solitude?
If you don’t get this,
You free yourself only on the surface.

But if you do get it, what can ever fetter you?
Abide in an undistracted state.
Trying to adjust body and mind won’t produce meditation.
Trying to apply techniques won’t produce meditation either.

See, nothing is ultimately established.
Know what appears to have no intrinsic nature.
Appearances perceived: reality’s realm, self-liberated.
Thought that perceives: spacious awareness, self-liberated.
Non-duality, sameness [of perceiver and perceived]: the dharma-body.

Like a wide stream flowing non-stop,
Whatever the phase, it has meaning
And is forever the awakened state—
Great bliss without samsaric reference.

All phenomena are empty of intrinsic nature
And the mind that clings to emptiness dissolves in its own ground.
Freedom from conceptual activity
Is the path of all the Adepts.

I’ve put together these lines
That they may last for aeons to come.
By this virtue, may all beings without exception
Abide in the great state of Mahamudra.

- Maitripa

December 28, 2018

From beyond the Abyss VI.: O.T.O meditations: Born Anew

May all adepts attain the City of Pyramids

4th O.T.O. meditation (includes sub meditations)

I create protective sphere around the room I am in, deep purple energy sphere. I know it will be good enough to protect my body from any intrusive spirit.

With intention I leave with BoL (body of light) and find myself at the OTO gate, I enter with ease and fly straight towards the camp and before my tent.

There is a guard there, transparent; we both know he is not needed anymore. In a flash I realize that at the lower level, this guard is ego that is protecting material existence, at intermediate level he is HGA (way beyond ego) and at the deepest level (after abyss) he does not exist on his own.

I enter the tent and everything is the same as before. The feeling or atmosphere in this tent is very familiar, it is my tent.

I go to the couple of Keepers and we exchange the Words and they direct me to the OTO Lamen. There is a well and Lamen on the wall above it.

The Lamen is just a manifestation of the source, a presentation of the whole existence of the initiated OTO aspirant and the well represents consciousness in which the essence of the Lamen can be reflected. The surface of the water is in my heart, symbolically speaking.

So I relax and focus on the reflection of the water and I see there the whole OTO Lamen.
There is Light, Wisdom, Understanding, Remembering, Strength, Beauty… and Foundation, and I understand that lower symbols on the Lamen represent the transformation in the aspirant and I hear “There is no law beyond do what thou wilt”.

There is no difference; I am That, meaning that there is no difference between me standing there, and the Lamen. I am the Lamen, I am the Light, Wisdom, Understanding. There is no difference, each number is infinite, the khabs is in the khu not the khu in the khabs and there is no law beyond do what thou wilt.

(At this point meta-cognition kicks in and I see that unification with the 93 spiritual current, symbolically represented by Lamen, is happening.)

Everything else is fading away, meaning that everything else is equally important, the Spirit is not any better than the matter, everything is manifested without existing. There is the insubstantiality, anatta, everything is empty, no one exists and nothing exists.
This is above the law: nothing.  There is NO LAW beyond do what thou wilt. No law is beyond, nothing is beyond or above the Law.

Chalice, heart, cross, flames. Interesting thing happens now as I focus on the lower part of the Lamen: the middle and top symbols stop shining, they just subside in the background and only lower part shines. I understand that there is no difference; it is just the present moment that counts. The Truth is manifested, currently, as the lower symbols. And I am united with these. Complete satori, samadhi, sambhodi even.

<longer pause>

I focus now on the dove. And the dove starts to shine brightly and the other two are not shining. It is a process, it is the inflow of the wisdom, love, power etc. The process itself and the dove are empty. Meaning, immaculately pure from the beginning. primordial purity, beauty and light. I unite with this easily. I am that.
And again, there is no law beyond…. Nothing is beyond. Nothing is beyond, beyond is emptiness, Nuit, Hadit, united in Rahookhuit above Kether.

I focus now on the Eye of Ra and it starts to shine brightly. It is soooooooo bright. I don’t even perceive reflection anymore, it is like being inside of the OTO Lamen shining through the Eye of Ra. Shining 12 links of depending origination, 12 zodiac signs, basically everything in manifestation is just the Light from the Eye of Ra.

There is no difference between the Eye of Ra, Ra and I and 12 emanations, everything is completely pure, primordially, empty, there is nothing beyond these three forms. And there is no law beyond Do what thou wilt, it is a negation of the Law, there is NO LAW.

The law is Do what thou wilt and beyond that, there is no law. And the No law is RHK and he is empty, for he has crushed the Universe with his omnipresent empty awareness. And we are nondual, everyone is nondual with him, whether we want it or not. If one is aware of this, s/he is free.

<looooooong pause>

The tent is empty, there are no keepers here now, for they have been integrated into this awareness of RHK, into perfect balance.

I am life and the giver of life, therefore the knowledge of me is the knowledge of death. There is no death, just Light. Wisdom and Understanding are perfectly integrated into None.

Well, I don’t feel like it but since this is a birth, I manifest again, I born myself, I reappear as an aspirant that is meditating on Me and as soon as that thought arises, I see "myself" standing in front of the OTO Lamen in the BoL.

The Keepers have manifested as well, I turn to them, they stand up and their eyes are shining. We all know very well that this is just a game, a lila, a drama, a play. We are playing roles.
So, keeping up with the appearances, I say the words: Every man and every… They smile.
I take my leave, guard is outside and we both know it is just a game.

It becomes clear to me now that after the 1st degree and these meditations it will be easier for me to live in the world, knowing that all 3 bodies and everything else in the world is just a game, a play, a drama, full of insubstantiality, of anatta.

I exit the OTO sphere and I notice no difference between the inner energy and energy outside of the OTO sphere.
I return to the body, there are no spirits there now. Protective energy is large enough so no spirits came to listen this time.
I enter the body and open my eyes. I will balance now with Star Ruby.

5th meditation
I do all the same as in previous meditations and……. find myself in front of the tent in the OTO sphere.
There is a guard there and I enter the tent. As I enter the Keepers stand up greeting me, and curiously enough, now I hear them say, “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law…” and I reply, “Love is the law, love under will…”

They invite me to sit down and I sit on the floor.

The woman starts speaking:

"In this visit you ought to be asking us about the meaning of both of us, the tent and the guard outside and the ** but since in previous meditations everything meaningful has already been said, if it is ok with you, we will now integrate into you and disappear from this tent."

I stand up, willing, look deep into their eyes and I say to the woman, Babalon and to the man, Chaos, knowing that this is just a pretense, an appearance – that is just as important as everything else:

"There is no difference between the Source of the river and the river itself."

So I recognize that Keepers really are there in front of me, and I perfectly know that from a deeper perspective they are Nuit and Hadit.
I invoke them to integrate into me, their child, RHK

Everything is disappearing, the tent, guard, camp, the OTO sphere, universe, everything is gone, de-manifesting.

<long long long pause>

I  stop recording here and just open my eyes and that is it. No drama needed.
I am born anew.

Fr. 418

October 22, 2018

From beyond the Abyss (V.)

May all adepts attain the City of Pyramids

No amount of effort will do. It is like hitting hard the surface of a placid lake and dealing with the water that is splashing around, hoping to calm the lake.

In the words of Master Therion:

"...The Masters of Truth are the only happy men, though they constantly observe what men stupidly call Sorrow.". (Liber 73).

Permanent transformation of perception can only happen from within.

As Krishnamurti said:

September 30, 2018

The Book of Babalon

Liber 49

Received by John Whiteside “Jack” Parsons (Belarion 8○ = 3□)

February 29, 1946 EV

1. Yea, it is I, BABALON.

2. And this is my book, that is the fourth chapter of the Book of the Law, He completing the Name, for I am out of NUIT by HORUS, the incestuous sister of RA-HOOR-KHUIT.

3. It is BABALON. TIME IS. Ye fools.

4. Thou hast called me, oh accursed and beloved fool.

[5-8 missing and presumed lost. Ed.]

9. Now know that I, BABALON, would take flesh and come among men.

10. I will come as a penelous [sic] flame, as a devious song, a trumpet in judgement halls, a banner before armies.

11. And gather my children unto me, for THE TIME is at hand.

12. And this is the way of my incarnation. Heed!

13. Thou shalt offer all thou art and all thou hast at my altar, withholding nothing. And thou shalt be smitten full sore and thereafter thou shalt be outcast and accursed, a lonely wanderer in abominable places.

14. Ye Dare. I have asked of none other, nor have they asked. Else is vain. But thou hast willed it.

15. Know then that thus I came to thee before, thou a great Lord, and I a maid enrapt. Ah blind folly.

16. And thereafter madness, all in vain. Thus it has been, multiform. How thou hast burned beyond.

17. I shall come again, in the form thou knowest. Now it shall be thy blood.

18. The altar is aright, and the robe.

19. The perfume is sandal, and the cloth green and gold. There is my cup, our book, and thy dagger.

20. There is a flame.

21. The sigil of devotion. Be it consecrated, be it true, be it daily affirmed. I am not scorned. Thy love is to me. Procure a disk of copper, in diameter three inches paint thereon the field blue the star gold of me, BABALON.

22. It shall be my talisman. Consecrate with the supreme rituals of the word and the cup.

23, My calls as thou knowest. All love songs are of me. Also seek me in the Seventh Aire.

24. This for a time appointed. Seek not the end, I shall instruct thee in my way. But be true. Would it be hard if I were thy lover, and before thee? But I am thy lover and I am with thee.

25. I shall provide a vessel, when or whence I say not. Seek her not, call her not. Let her declare. Ask nothing. Keep silence. There shall be ordeals.

26. My vessel must be perfect. This is the way of her perfection.

27. The working is of nine moons.

28. The Astarte working, with music and feasting, with wine and all arts of love.

29. Let her be dedicated, consecrated, blood to blood, heart to heart, mind to mind, single in will, none without the circle, all to me.

30. And she shall wander in the witchwood under the Night of Pan, and know the mysteries of the Goat and the Serpent, and of the children that are hidden away.

31. I will provide the place and the material basis, thou the tears and blood.

32. Is it difficult, between matter and spirit? For me it is ecstasy and agony untellable. But I am with thee. I have large strength, have thou likewise.

33. Thou shalt prepare my book for her instruction, also thou shalt teach that she may have captains and adepts in her service. Yea, thou shalt take the black pilgrimage, but it will not be thou that returnest.

34. Let her prepare her work according to my voice in her heart, with thy book as guide, and none other instructing.

35. And let her be in all things wise, and sure, and excellent.

36. But let her think on this: my way is not in the solemn ways, or in the reasoned ways, but in the wild free way of the eagle, and the devious way of the serpent, and the oblique way of the factor unknown and unnumbered.

37. For I am BABALON, and she my daughter, unique, and there shall be no other women like her.

38. In My Name shall she have all power, and all men and excellent things, and kings and captains and the secret ones at her command.

39. The first servants are chosen in secret, by my force in her—a captain, a lawyer, an agitator, a rebel—I shall provide.

40. Call me, my daughter, and I shall come to thee. Thou shalt be full of my force and fire, my passion and power shall surround and inspire thee; my voice in thee shall judge nations.

41. None shall resist thee, whom I lovest. Though they call thee harlot and whore, shameless, false, evil, these words shall be blood in their mouths, and dust thereafter.

42. But my children will know thee and love thee, and this will make them free.

43. All is in thy hands, all power, all hope, all future.

44. One came as a man, and was weak and failed.

45. One came as a woman, and was foolish, and failed.

46. But thou art beyond man and woman, my star is in thee, and thou shalt avail.

47. Even now thy hour strikes upon the clock of my FATHER. For He prepared a banquet and a Bridal Bed. I was that Bride, appointed from the beginning, as it was written T.O.P.A.N.

48. Now is the hour of birth at hand. Now shall my adept be crucified in the Basilisk abode.

49. Thy tears, thy sweat, thy blood, thy semen, thy love, thy faith shall provide. Ah, I shall drain thee like the cup that is of me, BABALON.

50. Stand thou fast, and I shall pass the first veil to speak with thee, through the stars shake.

51. Stand thou fast, and I shall pass the second veil, while God and Jesus be smitten with the sword of HORUS.

52. Stand thou fast, and I shall pass the third veil, and the shapes of hell shall be turned again to loveliness.

53. For thy sake shall I stride through the flames of Hell, though my tongue be bitten through.

54. Let me behold thee naked and lusting after me, calling upon my name.

55. Let me receive all thy manhood within my Cup, climax upon climax, joy upon joy.

56. Yea, we shall conquer death and Hell together.

57. And the earth is mine.

58. Thou shalt (make the?) Black Pilgrimage.

59. Yea it is even I BABALON and I SHALL BE FREE. Thou fool, be thou also free of sentimentality. Am I thy village queen and thou a sophomore, that thou shouldst have thy nose in my buttocks?

60. It is I, BABALON, ye fools, MY TIME is come, and this my book that my adept prepares is the book of BABALON.

61. Yea, my adept, the Black Pilgrimage. Thou shalt be accursed, and this is the nature of the curse. Thou shalt publish the secret matter of the adepts thou knowest, withholding no word of it, in an appendix to this my Book. So they shall cry fool, liar, sot, traducer, betrayer. Thou art not glad thou meddled with magick?

62. There is no other way, dear fool, it is the eleventh hour.

63. The seal of my Brother is upon the earth, and His Avatar is before you. There is threshing of wheat and a trampling of grapes that shall not cease until the truth be known unto the least of men.

64. But you who do not accept, you who see beyond, reach out your hands my children and reap the world in the hour of your harvest.

65. Gather together in the covens as of old, whose number is eleven, that is also my number. Gather together in public, in song and dance and festival. Gather together in secret, be naked and shameless and rejoice in my name.

66. Work your spells by the mode of my book, practicing secretly, inducing the supreme spell.

67. The work of the image, and the potion and the charm, the work of the spider and the snake, and the little ones that go in the dark, this is your work.

68. Who loves not hates, who hates fears, let him taste fear.

69. This is the way of it, star, star. Burning bright, moon, witch moon.

70. You the secret, the outcast, the accursed and despised, even you that gathered privily of old in my rites under the moon.

71. You the free, the wild, the untamed, that walk now alone and forlorn.

72. Behold, my Brother cracks the world like a nut for your eating.

73. Yea, my Father has made a house for you, and my Mother has prepared a Bridal Bed. My Brother has confounded your enemies.

74. I am the Bride appointed. Come ye to the nuptials—come ye now!

75. My joy is the joy of eternity, and my laughter is the drunken laughter of a harlot in the house of ecstasy.

76. All you loves are sacred, pledge them all to me.

77. Set my star upon your banners and go forward in joy and victory. None shall deny you, and none shall stand before you, because of the Sword of my Brother. Invoke me, call upon me, call me in your convocations and rituals, call upon me in your loves and battles in my name BABALON, wherein is all power given!

September 27, 2018

And in the middle the six-rayed star


The universe is multidimensional; each thing, action or event is infinite in its depth. How can the mortal and finite adept estimate his or her attainment in these abyssal depths? How can one measure the level of personal attainment when the depths of each sephira or chakra may unfold eternally? The man is mortal and restricted being, so how can one define what exactly and to what extent should be worked through on the path of initiation?

»Each thing, action or event is infinite in its depth...«

Well, that statement is as good as any, shallow and without any real meaning...if we take it without any examination and if we question not its validity.

And here I'd like to start: ignorance, immaturity and a priori acceptance of »spiritual« truths.
There is simply no way one can progress along the »path of initiation« based solely on mental capacities. Mental capacities in this context refer to intellect, speculation, reason, and other thought processes.

And herein lays the dilemma: whom to trust, what to read, what to do and what not to do?
We are told that there are higher levels of awareness to be attained, deeper and more fulfilling truths to be realized. And what most of aspirants do? Well they join some “spiritual” or religious corporation or some other organization that offers meetings, training, masses, teachings, supervision, texts etc.

And in 5, 10 or 20 years of effort along the lines of such organizations progress is realized and degrees are attained. Well, isn’t that lovely.

But what is truly happening?
What if the existing organizations offer nothing but smoke and mirrors?
What if no one can give us anything from the outside?
What if all structures we are so used to are false, a lie?
What if what we already are is simply enough?

And what if we really need no one to really progress in life?

Well, I have met only one human being (so far) that did all the progress along the empirical lines of human conscious psycho-transpersonal identity development on his own. No Orders, no masters, no degrees.

Total freedom and total independence.

That been said and speaking for the rest of us (I am generalizing, of course), such freedom and responsibility demands way too much and most of us just do not want to bare the pressure of freedom and possess that kind of strain of knowing…

…it is simply too much to an unenlightened heart… and so we invent (yes, we make these things up) various structures (Orders, degrees, various trees etc) to feel more safe, more in control. Mind and immature heart simply needs something to cling to, and if that does not exist yet, it makes it up.

OK, so now that I have denigrated all that I myself have been doing for the last 25 odd years, now we can go on, for:

“In the beginning doth the Magus speak Truth, and send forth Illusion and Falsehood to enslave the soul. Yet therein is the Mystery of Redemption.”
-Liber B, 1.

Everything that one does on the path of liberation is in reality not really usefull, it is just as effective as visiting fitness gym in dreaming. Upon waking up, dreams just vanish.

But the game is still on, sincere aspirants all over the world invest effort and time and money into spiritual progress.

So, if no truth can ever be really conveyed (as Liber B shares and empirical knowledge concurs) here on Earth and all is falsehood, what is the point?

Well, let’s at least try to produce or to come in contact with those useless things and illusions that will somehow direct us towards the Real Truth. How’s that sound?

Should one, on the path of initiation, strive toward the realization of oneself and the world, and does this realization have limits? If the man REALLY realizes that he or she is the infinitesimal and meaningless speck in the Universe and his or her labors are vain attempts in the web of illusion, then what should he or she do further in such an existential cul-de-sac? What should one do with the realization that is incompatible with life and capacities of man?

Real, deep and truly transpersonal states of awareness have got nothing whatsoever to do with a life of a man here on Earth. Even a slight conscious contact with the HGA tends to disrupt the life of an aspirant, what to speak of crossing the Abyss, or maybe even attaining the Magus level.
So what to do?

There are four elements in play upon this world: fire, water, air and earth. With all the funky transitions between the four and with all the symbolism involved, well, we are still only speaking and thinking, aren’t we.

And real and deep transpersonal (meaning above reason, above personality, transcendental, spiritual, non material, eternal, and not impermanent) realizations bring into the existing human system completely new awareness, new depth and new openness, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay above reason.

And that’s the trick, isn’t it: not only to attain certain state of awareness, but to bring it down into life, so to speak, to integrate.

And, speaking for my level of understanding, this is quite a challenge, for the above-mentioned four elements are in no way spiritual in and by themselves. Integration needs to take place.

Liber B again contributes here:

“Let Him beware of abstinence from action. For the curse of His grade is that He must speak Truth, that the Falsehood thereof may enslave the souls of men. Let him then utter that without Fear, that the Law may be fulfilled…”
Liber B, 14

“… aspirant’s labors are vain attempts in the web of illusion…”; although I obviously agree with these thoughts, I maintain that the real labor starts when the true Truth is attained (above various structures and way above reason) and when all the illusions are seen as they really are: a magickal display on the (empty) screen of consciousness.

And the only thing that is left to do is to start to integrate the realizations into the illusions, the six-rayed star in the middle has to recognize herself in the four elemental pentagrams around her.

In other words, as Truth is ineffable, it is of no use to try to convey it, so the next best thing is to use the illusions with clear Understanding and Wisdom that everyone needs to find the Truth on his/her own from within and no amount of illusions from without will produce results, for:

»It is the truth that liberates, not you effort to be free.«
- J. Krishnamurti

Who had fulfilled him- or herself as a human to a greater extent – a milkmaid who goes about her business in a state of full comfort and satisfaction with life, or an adept who has debunked the myths and discovered within him- or herself too many things to enjoy being-in-the-world?

It is just a process, a tough one for sure, to try to live in the world where people downright deny their own spiritual inheritance and superficial pleasures are a measure of happiness.

And that’s the whole point, in my opinion:

If a milkmaid is happy with her life, let her be happy.

And if an aspirant has attained realizations that put her outside this superficial world, well, maybe it is time to go even deeper, and deeper, and deeper still.....until it is not possible to go any deeper.

At that stage the only way is back again, back up again, into the same superficial world she has been trying to get out of for who knows how many incarnations.

In both cases, the same applies: »There is no law beyond do what thou wilt«.

Fr. 418 .'.