November 22, 2014

After Abyss (I.)


Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law


There are important realizations to be integrated into life after the so called crossing of the Abyss (as per Qabalah). And in the present blog I'd like to elaborate upon this rather important subject.

Formless Divinity is what I would call the truly transpersonal stage of awareness. I say stage, not a state. If we look at modern transpersonal psychology, the transpersonal stages are three: the Subtle (Briah), the Causal (Aziluth) and the Nondual (above Aziluth). Anyone can have an insight into any state at any level of her/his current development. States (fleeting insights) are free, stages (permanent attainments) are earned, Ken Wilber says. I agree fully.

And after crossing the Abyss (see this blog >>), the identifications with various God-forms (including Ishta Deva or HGA) are "left behind", so to speak, only to realize permanent identification and spontaneous nature of Being Her (Binah) and, in due time, Him (Chokmah).

There are various levels (not types) of mystical experiences, called samadhi. Samadhi is a Sanskrit word meaning One (sama) with the Absolute (adi).

I experienced first samadhi back in 1993 and I have been entering laya and sabikalpa samadhi states (see below) at will since around 2007. It is like bliss on demand, nothing ever touches you, for you are one with the One, a mere witness, completely free...and alone.

Anyway, some of the levels of samadhi I would like to describe are:


  • Laya samadhi
    It can be had during walking, dancing, making love, running. It is an entry point, as it were, for the truly spiritual or transpersonal stages of consciousness.
    Effort is needed for attainment of this level of samadhi.

  • Sabikalpa samadhi
    It is a direct experience of the Absolute at the Subtle or Causal levels (Briah or Aziluth). It is an experience limited by time. I like to refer to this level of samadhi as Saguna samadhi (samadhi with form. Form in this context translates to transpersonal forms of God/Goddesses, of course). At this level, the so called Bhava (rapture) samadhi may be experienced as well.

    Effort is still needed for attainment of this level of samadhi, even if only a little shift in attention is employed.

    As I shared above, I used to enter Sabikalpa samadhi for years, at will, anytime, anywhere.

    "In sabikalpa samadhi the devotee has spiritually progressed to a state of inward divine union, but cannot maintain his cosmic consciousness except in the immobile trance-state. By continuous meditation, he reaches the superior state of nirbikalpa samadhi, where he moves freely in the world and performs his outward duties without any loss of God-realization.”
    - Paramhansa Yogananda

  • Kevala Nirbikalpa Samadhi 
This is a direct experience of the Causal level (Aziluth), and is on the other side of the Abyss. It is the so called Nirguna samadhi, a formless Oneness with the Absolute. 

In this experience, all movement in awareness ceases, and all that is left is only the Absolute Self. And it is or was one of the most important experiences of my life. 

Such an experience eradicates the apparent and illusory separateness of the Soul and Godhead, Creator and Creation, Nirvana and Samsara, Unmanifested and Manifested, Yogamaya and Mahamaya, Khabs and Khu - Absolute and "relative" merge into One, forever.

Grace is needed for attainment of this level of samadhi, and after the attainment has occurred, no effort in needed anymore, ever. This is attainment of Binah, or complete and permanent identification with and surrender to, the One Goddess or God (moving on to Chokmah) and beyond them both.

It is efortless and silent awareness, present even now.







  • Sahaja Nirbikalpa Samadhi
    This is the final stage, the ultimate experience that equals to Great Liberation, moksha, the end of the Great Work, and is in fact the attainment of Kether as per Qabalah.

    Sri Ramana Maharshi;

    “In yoga the term samādhi refers to some kind of trance and there are various kinds of samādhi. But the samādhi I speak of is different. It is sahaja samādhi. From here you have samadhana [steadiness] and you remain calm and composed even while you are active. You realize that you are moved by the deeper real Self within. You have no worries, no anxieties, no cares, for you come to realize that there is nothing belonging to you. You know that everything is done by something with which you are in conscious union.”


  • Anatta and Sunyata insights
    After attainment of the "I am" presence, the Causal self, the Absolute Self, or the Kether as per Qabalah, there are still possible realizations to be had.

    We must leave the Vedanta teachings behind, however, and embark upon the Buddhist teachings on anatta and sunyata. These experiences are way beyond even the Causal self or the Kether as per Qabalah. And they are liberating as hell.

    I will write more about anatta and sunyata, total identity collapse and about nirodha-samapatti as well, in the next blog in the After Abyss series.


  • Love is the law, love under will.

    See the next blog post: After Abyss II.: Changless Reality >>

    See the next blog post in the After Abyss series: After Abyss (III.): total identity collapse >>

    November 3, 2014

    Crossing the Abyss



    I offer thanks to my Goddess / HGA in Her various manifestations and to my Teacher, the Tantric Master.

    I also acknowledge the sacredness of the A∴A∴ Order.

    In this blog I will try to share some of my impressions and experiences of the event described in Western hermetic culture as "Crossing the Abyss" mostly from a Tantric position, supported by notions from Thelema holy texts.

    I will elaborate on the progress from Geborah to Binah and on to Chokmah, refraining from using complicated symbolism and Sanskrit terms as much as I am able to.

    Needless to say, these are only my interpretations of most abstract and intimate experiences and may as well be irrelevant to you. Each one of us has to attain these states of awareness on our own.


    Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law

    Prologue

    There are various opinions about the Abyss here in the West. Apart from the traditional and accepted one outlined in the V&V (which is pregnant with mystical and magical symbolism worth while exploring),
    Alan Chapman and Duncan Barford have interesting insights to offer (their experiences of the crossing and beyond are shared in these books >>); I also like the insights of Ben Rowe. And IAO131 nails it more or less, in this essay.

    It is my observation that not every inner conflict or crises amounts to crossing the Abyss; when I was (re)introduced to my Ishta Devi or HGA years ago, I fell into the deepest pit of despair for about two months. The presence of the HGA cleared out a lot of mental identifications my life used to base upon. It was an excruciating experience - but it was not even near to crossing the Abyss.

    So, what one might be experiencing in the Great Work (or spiritual sadhana), even when it is ultra painful, it may or may not be the actual crossing of the Abyss.

    In fact, the notion that crossing the Abyss is (or ought to be) linked to the suffering and pain is severely overrated, in my opinion.

    Interestingly enough, in Tantric tradition, there is no explicit notion of anything like crossing the Abyss (or I am not aware of it). There is a "struggle" seen in the practice when one shifts the focus from Form to the Formless or from saguna to nirguna (Ramakrishna's case is a glaring example of that fact), but that's all.

    There are a lot of instructions and Tantric practices, however, that aim exactly at what a Qabalist might describe as arriving and stabilizing at Chesed, Binah and Chokmah. Especially, there are a lot of instructions very similar to what in the A∴A∴ Order is referred to as Liber Stella Rubeae and also Liber Cheth.


    Liber 156

    My point is that one cant really tell whether s/he is actually crossing the Abyss merely by experiencing the "dark night of the soul" in its various manifestations. Or maybe one can - it is all very subjective, I admit.

    But while the initiation experiences are always completely subjective, the Map of states of consciousnesses or the Initiation System itself, well, that is universal. So, one could (in theory) simply sit back and observe the changes in the resulted state of awareness and see what is going on.

    While I formally claim no attainment (I can produce no official  A∴A papers - whatever for?), there are serious changes manifesting in my perception. Changes that are based on the insights into the nature of the human / divine awareness.

    And I still can not find better and more precise text on the subject currently under discussion than Liber Cheth. Granted, given my previous involvement with the Tantric practices, I certainly feel an affinity towards this path, the path of Cheth (in Qabalah, linking Binah and Geburah).

    Liber Cheth offers us 22 verses which are linked to the 22 Paths in Qabalah. Interesting connections there. The point being, if one is to attain Understanding, everything bellow the Abyss is to be dealt with.

    With the intention that maybe some of the visitors of my Blog might find the sharing helpful, I offer the following: 




    Liber Cheth vel Vallum Abigni sub figurâ CLVI
    A∴A∴
    Publication in Class A.
    (a note: only Liber Cheth is classified as Class A publication, not my comments, of course)


    • 1. This is the secret of the Holy Graal, that is the sacred vessel of our Lady the Scarlet Woman, Babalon the Mother of Abominations, the bride of Chaos, that rideth upon our Lord the Beast.
    Things are not as gloomy as they might appear to a reader with less than strong background in the Master Therion's empirical system of thought.

    We can easily view the "...Lady the Scarlet Woman, Babalon the Mother of Abominations..." as the Divine Mother, so often revered in the Left Hand Tantra and some other traditions from the East.

    She has many forms; in our Tantric lore, She is manifested as Kali, Tara, Tripura Sundari, Cinamasta, Matangi Devi, Kamalatmika, Bhairavi, Bhuvaneshvari, Dhumavati and Bhagalamukhi. Some of the Mahavidyas are more "intimately oriented" than others.

    Devi is all tolerant, all giving and embracing all, refusing or rejecting nothing whatsoever. But the innermost quality of the Divine Lady, at least from the intimacy angle, is that while She is completely self-sufficient and can and does stand alone without Her "better half", She is most satisfied with the acts of complete surrender, especially in intimate settings. She is receiving the penetration of the Will.

    But when She is "united" with Her male counterpart, there comes Bliss and Unity.

    12th Aethyr shares on the subject:
    This is the Mystery of Babylon, the Mother of Abominations, and this is the mystery of her adulteries, for she hath yielded up herself to everything that liveth, and hath become a partaker in its mystery. And because she hath made her self the servant of each, therefore is she become the mistress of all. Not as yet canst thou comprehend her glory.

    Beautiful art thou, O Babylon, and desirable, for thou hast given thyself to everything that liveth, and thy weakness hath subdued their strength. For in that union thou didst understand. Therefore art thou called Understanding, O Babylon, Lady of the Night!

    • 2. Thou shalt drain out thy blood that is thy life into the golden cup of her fornication. 
    Yes, "intimate settings" translate to the golden cup of Her fornication. It is the psychological-transpersonal energy current that is so very very strong which is referred to here, in my opinion.  It is the Life energy that is sustaining these bodies, and it is coming from within (apana vaju might ring a bell?) and is manifesting according to the level one is focused on.

    To sum up, at the ground level, it manifests as existential needs; at the sacrum level, it manifests as needs for relationships, sex etc...; at the solaris plexus it manifests as personal assertion, personal power etc...; at the heart level it manifests as love, giving and receiving etc...; at the throat level it manifests as creativity, mental clarity, articulate expression etc...; at the eye level it manifests as seeing the things as they really are, clairvoyance maybe etc...; at the top, it may manifest as consciousness realizing itself, the I-I experience, the sabikalpa samadhi.

    As stated in Liber ABA:
    “...the Ego-idea must be ruthlessly rooted out before Understanding can be attained.”
    (Liber ABA, page 78.)

    This blood is sometimes referred to as the blood of the saints, a saint being one who sacrifices everything, even his life, in devotion to a deity or the principle of enlightenment.

    “Blessed are the saints, that their blood is mingled in the cup, and can never be separate any more.”
    - 12th Aethyr of Liber 418 (Equinox IV:2, page 151).

    This is one of the most interesting if not most important aspects of the Understanding: a new master has all Understanding of other masters at his disposal.


    • 3. Thou shalt mingle thy life with the universal life. Thou shalt keep not back one drop. 

    And ALL of the above, everything, one is invited to not only offer but to drain into Her. So "thy blood" may refer to not only the mind, emotions and physical body, but everything else as well (intentions, hopes, fears, transpersonal and personal realizations, attachments, detachments, enjoyments etc...).

    Where shall one pour his/her life blood? Into Her golden cup of Her fornication. It is Her Yoni, the All-inviting quality of the Devi. As I have already said, the intimate settings and intimate exchanges are most pleasing to Her, as any Tantric worth his salt can affirm.

    Ancient sages have put this like this:
    "The brahmanas have copiously scarified to that Krshna. They have
    worshiped him as Govinda. He is Gopi-jana-valabha, who has taken hold
    of the planets. Taking shelter of swaha, he became the virile semen
    that quickened the universe."

    - Gopali Tapani Upanishad, I-15

    To an experienced heart above text reveals a lot. :)

    "Mingling with the universal life" means just that, opening up completely and draining oneself utterly for Her sake, for her Name (see Lishma >>) for Her satisfaction, leaving behind everything, even those insignificant little single and innocent thoughts.

    And not by employing the dry and "righteous" practice of  the right hand paths, but by employing the exquisite and very juicy loving affair of the Soul with the Lady the Scarlet Woman. It is the intense magickal sexual exchange that eradicates (read: transforms) everything.

    I think the O.T.O. IX. degree points in the similar direction, as well as Liber Stella Rubeae. In our Tantric tradition, however, it is explained in even more detail, offered in the (in)famous Yoni Tantra text (check it in the kindle format >>). This practice can be performed with a lover in a body or, even more satisfying, with the Goddess Herself.

    In Anuttarayoga Tantra (The Highest Yoga Tantra) this practice is done at three levels: with the so called action mudra (with initiated and qualified female lover), with secret mudra (it is a secret :)  ) and Mahamudra. The Mahamudra practice is in itself the means and the End at the same time.

    "Leaving behind" in this context does not translate to renouncing or pushing away but implies embracing, transforming and taking on-board, so to speak. Everything is to be included, everything needs to be transformed - that is the Tantric way, a path of denying nothing and embracing everything, wholeheartedly.

    At this juncture, I want to point out that before one wants to really transform material/personal identity, one has to acquire it first, by building really strong and flexible ego personality (attaining 7=4 first maybe, as per hermetic orders such as the  A∴A∴). There is no point in renouncing something which one does not yet possess. That's why it is so important to really live out ALL personal / material tendencies prior to attempting to cross the Abyss.

    And that is one way, the Tantric way, of "getting rid" of everything by embracing everything that is still "tainted" with the personal (human) and not completely transformed into transpersonal (divine). There are other paths, of course.


    • 4. Then shall thy brain be dumb, and thy heart beat no more, and all thy life shall go from thee; and thou shalt be cast out upon the midden, and the birds of the air shall feast upon thy flesh, and thy bones shall whiten in the sun. 

    Again, this may or may not be as bad as it sounds, LOL.

    The dumb brain, the stopped heart etc... may translate to standing naked and stripped of everything.

    Even the so much lovingly valued and cherished experiences which the HGA has been showering the adept with, and everything else - all is stripped away. One stands completely naked before the "Abyss" (at least that's my experience). Only the individual remains, alone. And s/he may or may not become aware of the equality with the Night Sky in the process; it may help though.

    Also, the text might refer to the formless samadhi, the Kevala Nirbikalpa Samadhi, where brain functions are reduced to a minimum and where heart all but stops. It is the one experience that is completely transcendental even to the upper Briah realm experiences.

    It is a great mystery, all of this. On the one hand we have perfectly functioning individual, who already knows and effortlessly executes his Will in everyday life, and on the other hand we have the promise of even greater reality.


    • 5. Then shall the winds gather themselves together, and bear thee up as it were a little heap of dust in a sheet that hath four corners, and they shall give it unto the guardians of the abyss. 

    So why should this be happening? What on earth is instigating this "movement" onwards?
    Winds of mostly extinguished Prarabdha Karma, supported by the mercy and blessings of the One.

    It is the momentum that is the crucial factor here. Eventually, every adept is going to face all of this, by choice of course.

    There is an interesting notion in the Tantric yore, which I haven't found yet in the Western mysticism terminology. It is called Sukriti, the positive trans-personally (not materially) accumulated merit or  "good points", as it were. And it is this accumulated amount of positive influences from who knows how many lives that is carrying adept forward, not only material Karma and intention.



    • 6. And because there is no life therein, the guardians of the abyss shall bid the angels of the winds pass by. And the angels shall lay thy dust in the City of the Pyramids, and the name thereof shall be no more. 

    And because there is no life in the adept left, meaning that most of the Prarabdha Karma is burned out, the transition across the Abyss (which, at this point is not even there), will be swift and easy.

    If not, than the process of "draining out" the life blood is going to take a while. Master Therion refers to that state of awareness as "the babe of the abyss". That was my case. It took a looooong time.

    One Star in Sight shares:
    "The Order of the R.C. The Grade of the Babe of the Abyss is not a Grade in the proper sense, being rather a passage between the two Orders. Its characteristics are wholly negative, as it is attained by the resolve of the Adeptus Exemptus to surrender all that he has and is for ever. It is an annihilation of all the bonds that compose the self or constitute the Cosmos, a resolution of all complexities into their elements, and these thereby cease to manifest, since things are only knowable in respect of their relation to, and reaction on, other things."

    If the adept is not willing to utterly drain the life blood, she surrenders not completely and retains some of her identifications. These adepts are referred to as the Black or Dark Brothers. I see no problem whatsoever with that; even the ego with all of its identifications is a divine manifestation, so... After all, the adept that failed to cross the Abyss IS a high initiate, and way beyond normal human limitations.

    City of the Pyramids, the Binah, is of course the level of existence of those, who are completely surrendered to the One/None. There are lots of adepts that are upon this plane, alone and focusing on whatever they are focused on, all far above the human limitations and having no material form or name.

    In Tantric tradition, I think Tapaloka is the level of existence referred to as the City of the Pyramids.

    There is a text, the Sri Brhad Bhagavatamrta penned by Sanatana Gosvami, where levels of existence above the physical are very well portrayed, including the Satyaloka (the topmost level, even above Tapaloka) and beyond.



    • 7. Now therefore that thou mayest achieve this ritual of the Holy Graal, do thou divest thyself of all thy goods.
    • 8. Thou hast wealth; give it unto them that have need thereof, yet no desire toward it.
    • 9. Thou hast health; slay thyself in the fervour of thine abandonment unto Our Lady. Let thy flesh hang loose upon thy bones, and thine eyes glare with thy quenchless lust unto the Infinite, with thy passion for the Unknown, for Her that is beyond Knowledge the accursèd one.
    • 10. Thou hast love; tear thy mother from thine heart, and spit in the face of thy father. Let thy foot trample the belly of thy wife, and let the babe at her breast be the prey of dogs and vultures.

    Not only one is invited to let go of the earthly wealth, health and love and family, one is even invited to transform even the notions regarding both the Father and the Mother. Everything must go, even reverence for God the Father and Goddess the Mother. At this level, even reverence to God/Goddess is an obstacle.

     "Letting go" doesn't necessarily mean  physical actions. The important thing here is that the inner psychological climate is altered and that the "I and Mine" notion is renounced or transformed. The "I and Mine" notion (ahamkara in Sanskrit) that implies separateness and is the main generator of Karma (ahamkara actually means "I am the doer/actor")

    At this level, it is only the intention that will change anything, not actions. No action is needed at this level, only increasing desire, a strong yearning and a forceful need only for the Light will change anything: "...and thine eyes glare with thy quenchless lust unto the Infinite, with thy passion for the Unknown...".

    It is this need, this yearning and voiceless desire for the Infinite that is the only thing needed here. Even Knowledge (Daath) will do nothing. It is the intention, not the action, meaning that no ritual is going to really help. Only intention, inner intent or Will if you will, is all that is needed there. Inner orientation only for the Infinite, only for the Light.

    Similar process is best used also at a much lower level (5=6).

    And again, Tantric Master Ramakrishna comes to mind here. He was weeping like a baby in front of the image of his Ishta Devi, Kali Ma, yearning to see Her, to unite with Her. He was dying inside, it was as if someone was manualy squeezing his heart in his chest over and over again, according to his own words. And when he decided to kill himself, only then Kali Ma revealed Herself to him and stayed with him forever (see Gospel of Ramakrishna for details).


    • 11. For if thou dost not this with thy will, then shall We do this despite thy will. So that thou attain to the Sacrament of the Graal in the Chapel of Abominations. 

    And, of course, there is no need to worry. If one is not willingly undertaking the process discussed herein, it will be made sure that it happens anyway, ego notwithstanding.
    So, fear not LOL :)

    Important fact is that the crossing discussed herein has to be instigated by a conscious choice. But then again, She does everything, so... :)

    The "...Sacrament of the Graal in the Chapel of Abominations." is happening at the level of awareness called Binah. It is complete Oneness with Her, only Her remains. She is the Actor, always was and in the text above this is asserted.


    • 12. And behold! if by stealth thou keep unto thyself one thought of thine, then shalt thou be cast out into the abyss for ever; and thou shalt be the lonely one, the eater of dung, the afflicted in the Day of Be-with-Us.
    • 13. Yea! verily this is the Truth, this is the Truth, this is the Truth. Unto thee shall be granted joy and health and wealth and wisdom when thou art no longer thou. 

    Well, since "...there is no dread hereafter..." (Liber AL: II-44), I see no rhyme or reason for the warning offered in the text above. So one does not surrender completely, so what. It is his/her life. Maybe s/he will do it better next time around.

    The above warning strikes me more like a didactic tool than anything seriously dangerous.

    "...when thou art no longer thou" (meaning, when you are no longer you) means that most of the personal Karma (the Prarabdha Karma) is gone, it has lost its grip over the Soul.

    What remains is not the "you" from before and not even the self-realized and HGA infused Soul from before. No, that "you" was left behind, willingly and lovingly, for Her sake, for Her name, for Her satisfaction.

    And so now only Her remains:

    "The Brothers of A∴A∴ are one with the Mother of the Child.
    The Many is as adorable to the One as the One is to the Many. This is the Love of These; creation-parturition is the Bliss of the One; coition-dissolution is the Bliss of the Many.
    The All, thus interwoven of These, is Bliss.
    Naught is beyond Bliss.
    The Man delights in uniting with the Woman; the Woman in parting from the Child.

    The Brothers of A∴A∴ are Women: the Aspirants to A∴A∴ are Men.


    COMMENTARY
    Gimel is the High Priestess of the Tarot. This chapter gives the initiated feminine point of view; it is therefore called the Oyster, a symbol of the Yoni. In Equinox X, The Temple of Solomon the King, it is explained how Masters of the Temple, or Brothers of A∴A∴ have changed the formula of their progress. These two formulae, Solve et Coagula, are now explained, and the universe is exhibited as the interplay between these two.
    This also explains the statement in Liber Legis I, 28-30."

     - Liber CCCXXXIII, Chapter III




    • 14. Then shall every gain be a new sacrament, and it shall not defile thee; thou shalt revel with the wanton in the market-place, and the virgins shall fling roses upon thee, and the merchants bend their knees and bring thee gold and spices. Also young boys shall pour wonderful wines for thee, and the singers and the dancers shall sing and dance for thee.
    • 15. Yet shalt thou not be therein, for thou shalt be forgotten, dust lost in dust. 

    This is one of the changes I was referring to above: nothing is really new, I mean, personality tendencies and personal stuff in the four words within - all of that is as it was before more or less. The remarkable change is that there is nothing "personal" left to identify with, nothing touches anything anymore. Things are only happening without ego to instigate them.

    For example, I used to go running rather often to ease up inner tension, stress etc. After the 10 K run, I used to feel refreshed, alive. Well, now, nothing. No change whatsoever. It isn't even "me" that is running. Only Her, as it were.

    Yes, things are happening, positive/negative/neutral and yet there is nothing in the experiences to identify with. It is like I am someplace else, not here upon this world. And what is left here upon this plane is only a reflection; a reflection composed of the remaining Prarabdha Karma.

    If ALL of the Prarabdha Karma had been extinguished, then no one would be left here to write these words. In fact, in some cases that is exactly what happens (at a higher level, however). And yet, some remain here, for how else would we know these things? For more info on this important subject see Vedanta Sutra, commentary by Baladeva (not Shankacharya).

    And so, as the Nahar forever flows, pouring its Life down below the Abyss, the reflection of the attainment must exist below the Supernals. In my case, that is Chesed, Jupiter, Remembering and the Bhakti therein.

    "Then shall every gain be a new sacrament" - meaning that every event is freshly new, as there is no material association of the attained consciousnesses therein.
    In Sanskrit, this is called rasa - ever fresh and new, always instigated by the Devi. And She is ever fresh, new, Absolute and Dynamically Perfect in Her Stillness and Omnipresence. Freedom from inner oppression and outer demands.

    The same (and more) is shared in "The Temple of Solomon the King," EQUINOX I:10:

    "…For the Ego has been totally destroyed, and he has nothing wherewith to bind together these things. He is not any of these things, for there is no He. Those things are.
    And of the results of this, and of how it may bear upon the question of his advancement to the Grade of Magus, who can say?
    It is not the Master of the Temple even who could answer such a question. For, in relation to his advancement, he is but that little pile of dust which is to burn up, and from which shall be prepared a white ash by Hermes the Invisible. And in relation to his true life, it is mixed with the blood of all his fellows in the Cup of BABALON.
    And in relation to his body and mind he is but a vehicle of the forces that are beyond the Abyss. He will therefore speak, but as a man among men, of that which he has seen and heard. But he will claim no authority. He will not proclaim dogma. For all that in him from which such things proceed is no more. He will remain in the darkness of the City of Pyramids under the Night of Pan, sitting silent through 106 seasons, the name of every one of which is Death, ever seeking to make his understanding perfect, until the time comes for him to seek that yet more fearful ordeal which must evidently be involved in the attainment of the Grade of Magus…"


    The Cup of Babalon is the sum total of awareness of all Magistri Templi at the level of existence called Binah, sharing their attainment with all Masters at this level.



    •  16. Nor shall the æon itself avail thee in this; for from the dust shall a white ash be prepared by Hermes the Invisible.
    • 17. And this is the wrath of God, that these things should be thus.
    • 18. And this is the grace of God, that these things should be thus. 

    The text points into the direction of 9=2, in the direction of Father, the Wisdom. And only the Mother can really show one the true Father, for only She truly knows Him.

    • 19. Wherefore I charge you that ye come unto me in the Beginning; for if ye take but one step in this Path, ye must arrive inevitably at the end thereof.
    • 20. This Path is beyond Life and Death; it is also beyond Love; but that ye know not, for ye know not Love. 

    Yes. As already said, eventually everyone will come to the point discussed herein, with ego probably resisting.

    Hmm. In Tantra we have a saying: "If you really want to remain here and enjoy the material life, do not approach Krishna, for He will take everything from you and give Himself to you."

    Seems to me that the state of awareness discussed herein is well beyond, well, anything one has experienced up to that point in the sadhana.

    And as I have already said, only the Mother knows who the real Father is, right? So the right path to the Father is through the Mother. Only She can reveal Him.

    Love here refers to attainment of the Wisdom, 9=2, for "...the Magus is Love..." (Liber B vel Magi).

    • 21. And the end thereof is known not even unto Our Lady or to the Beast whereon She rideth; nor unto the Virgin her daughter nor unto Chaos her lawful Lord; but unto the Crowned Child is it known? It is not known if it be known.
    • 22. Therefore unto Hadit and unto Nuit be the glory in the End and the Beginning; yea, in the End and the Beginning.


    Here it is hinted at a much higher attainment, that of the Source itself, and at this stage, Understanding yields no answers to above question.

    Indeed, glory to the Hadit and Goddess Nuit.
    Glory to the Goddess Nuit.
    Glory to the Goddess Nuit.
    Glory to the Goddess Nuit.
    Glory to the Goddess Nuit.
    Glory to the Goddess Nuit.

    It is She that is doing everything. Before the crossing I used to enter samadhi at will for years, in a sense that "I" was "taken" or  was "merged into" Her by will, by effort.

    Now, all of this has changed. Now, this is the permanent reality: "The Khabs is in the Khu, not the Khu in the Khabs.", Liber AL, I:8.

    Practices, rituals and methods of "contacting" Divinity or Her simply do not work anymore. It is not that the methods are dysfunctional. No. The matter of the fact is that there is no need to enter or contact anyone. She is here. She is. She. Not.

    Only Her remains:

    "…it is necessary to emphasize the very peculiar nature of the attainment of this grade. In all previous grades the nature of the Initiation has been light through darkness. In this it is darkness through light. The word of the Adept was L V X, Light. The word of the Master of the Temple is N O X, Night. This is the Night of Pan.
    The visions are no more. Silence and stillness and darkness rule the grade. The Adept has throughout his progress been unifying himself. As it is written in Liber CCCXXXIII, Chapter III:
    "the Brothers of A.'.A.'. are women; the Aspirants to A.'.A.'. are men."

    The M. T. has given birth to a child, which child appears as an Adept among men. But that which was the Adept is but a little pile of dust. Samadhi has been attained once and for all. The process is complete and permanent. The Great Work is accomplished. The new Great Work is proclaimed. He has finished with Solve. He must begin Coagula…." 

    - From "The Temple of Solomon the King," EQUINOX I:10

    That is (a part of) the Understanding, as far as I can see now.

    Nuit says in the Liber AL:
    "Since I am Infinite Space, and the Infinite Stars thereof, do ye also thus." - Liber AL, I-22.

    There is none else besides Her.


    Love is the law, love under will.


      See the next blog post, After Abyss >>